A Head of Hair

Well, I'm shaving my head on the 13th March for the World's Greatest Shave. It's to raise money to help provide treatment for people with Leukemia and that sort of thing. Why am I doing this? When it comes down to it, the best answer I can come up with is, why not?

Am I just being selfless? Getting involved in something that will help others? Perhaps. I don't know. I care about people who are suffering, whoever they are, whatever their suffering is, but it's not like I'm personally involved with leukemia or that it's something that I am particularly passionate about. Is there another reason?

At the time when I decided I would do this, I was thinking of cutting my hair, anyway, when an ad encouraging people to do the greatest shave came up, and I thought, if I'm going to cut it, anyway, why not raise money for a good cause while I'm at it?

It might also be interesting to note that the timing was a little bit after the breakdown of my parents' marriage and feeling depressed about not having a job. A part of me wonders if my decision was based on needing to control something in my life. Whether or not this is true, it doesn't really matter, now, and I don't regret the decision.

The truth is, hair has never been that important to me. It's just... there. I never do anything with it except tie it back in a pony tail to keep it out of my face. People compliment me on my hair all the time; how long it is, how thick it is, the slight wave that goes through it, every now and then somebody notices a hint of red in there, but the only reason it's gotten as long as it has is because I don't really think about it often enough to go to a hair dresser on a regular basis. It wasn't hard work to grow my hair long - it kind of just did that on its own. For this reason I've often thought that my hair was wasted on me - I really don't appreciate it like some people appreciate their hair. I always thought that somebody who cares more about hair and doesn't like their own hair should've had my hair.

So when people call me "brave" for deciding to shave my hair, I don't really get it. I mean, it's hair, it grows back, right? It's not like I'm cutting off my ear or my finger! Besides, it makes the back of my neck too hot and it takes ages to wash and it's annoying to brush. Still, when they say I'm brave I take the compliment, and I appreciate the support and encouragement.

So I've raised the goal I set for myself, I've set a date for when it's going to happen, it's all getting organised and will unfold. So, how do I feel about it? Well, as long as I only consult myself, I feel absolutely comfortable with my decision. Any doubts that enter my mind are met with a resolve to not cling on to vanity. Most people who know about it are at supportive or, at the very least, respectful of my decision. But then, every now and then I get a negative response. "Please don't do it." "You should've decided to just colour your hair." "There's no way I'm going to support you shaving your head!"

Comments like that really don't help at all, and I don't get it. Am I not understanding how drastic this is or something? It's hair! People mess around with their hair all the time! It grows back! It's not like I'm getting a tattoo. In a way, it's even less drastic than someone getting their ears pierced!

I've raised over $600 doing this, and it is very encouraging that I've met my goal and I am very grateful to all the people who pitched in to help me get there. People have donated with the expectation that I'd go through with it. It'd be a lot harder to admit to those people that I "chickened out" than having to deal with less compliments about my hair, and any stares or shock I might inspire in people is just an opportunity to raise awareness for the issue. To break this commitment for the sake of vanity and peer pressure would be a lot more embarrassing to me than a naked head. I don't understand why people even think it is worthwhile to try and change my mind at this stage, and it just makes me feel a lot more unsure about the whole thing at a time when it's much too late to turn back. I don't understand why people think that my head of hair somehow has more value than the lives of people suffering from terrible diseases.