Approach to Prayer

I was reading this blog entry about praying, and it got me thinking about different attitudes a person can have towards prayer.

I think it's hard to know what the right attitude one needs for prayer; I find it to be a process of constant tweaking throughout a person's life, when they realise, hang on, this isn't necessarily the best approach to prayer, I need to be more humble. Then, later on, hang on, I don't always trust all my troubles to God, I need to be more open. But I think the more one prays, even if your praying might not start out with the best approach, the more God can do that tweaking and growing of you, the more your prayers will be aligned with God's desires?

When I was much younger and more foolish than now, I prayed to God that "[a certain boy] would start liking me and want to date me, and that in return, I would always put this much of my pocket money in the collection bowl in church; and actually, no, I will do that anyway, because I know I'm not supposed to bargain with you like that, and if it's something I should be doing I should do it, anyway, instead of trying to withold from you because I want something so I'm sorry please forgive me but could you make this boy like me, anyway? I really really want him to. Amen."

Or something along those lines.

During and after I had prayed that I knew the prayer was just wrong. It felt wrong and I felt really guilty about it. But even in the praying of it God was teaching me about prayer. God also answered that prayer pretty much immediately. The most immediate answer to prayer that I had ever gotten. The answer was, "No, I'm not going to force him to like you." Very clearly. It wasn't anything that happened that gave me a sign, it was pretty much just a resounding "No" that I felt inside of me, and I knew not to make a prayer like that, again. Perhaps I should've prayed: I'm lonely, I really like this guy, I'm struggling with feelings of frustration/rejection/uncertainty, please help me through this, and come to terms with the situation, regardless of what happens or doesn't happen.

Anyway, this issue has come up again more recently in my life, although in a slightly different context. It has to do with my parents. They are splitting up. When I was first told about this, I was devastated. I went to take it to God and I was at a lost at what I should pray. There were two approaches I could see:

A) Pray that they work it out and don't split up. After all, God never celebrates when a marriage is broken up. But would that just be another case of trying to get God to impose what I want onto a situation, and deluding myself into thinking they might still stay together?

B) Pray that they'll both find happiness and forgiveness, regardless of what happens, and that I can find acceptance and peace with the situation. Them breaking up might not be a good thing but it's happening and so I have to handle the situation for what it is. But by accepting the situation, am I not trusting God enough to be able to heal their marriage, no matter how unlikely it seems right now?

I'm not saying one approach is better than the other. Probably one approach IS better than the other, but I don't know which one. I don't think it's wrong to tell God what you want, desire, hope for, but I think there's a difference between sharing and being honest with God with what's on your heart, and telling God so he can fulfill them for you. But I don't really know. I worry about using prayer to impose my will, instead of using it to fulfill God's will. It is a balance in prayer that I often struggle with.

God's will be done. Amen.